Best Year of Your Marriage- Starting NOWMay 06, 2022
At the beginning of the year, I decided to make this one the best ever in my marriage. There was no evidence or reason why it should be. We’ve had over 20 so why now? It is not a milestone year or a time of big changes like graduations, promotions, or retirement.
Yet I decided this is the one to make the best.
Here is what I know for sure.
- Time goes by.
- Life gets lived.
This is the rule until death.
So why not make this passage of time the best?
What is the alternative? Making it full of drama or perhaps even worse boringly ok.
So I decided this is the one to make the best.
It was decided before the year unfolded. Before any possible, up or down events occurred.
When I proposed this to my spouse he was dubious. He is in the middle of dealing with some big emotional issues, our 16-year-old is having their own life transition as teenagers are prone to do, and he’s having some questions about professional development in his department. Needless to say from his view it was not the year to plan on it being the best ever.
See if you would agree with me on what else I know for sure.
Every year will have reasons why "it is not a good time."
During the pandemic, my neighborhood started an outdoor Happy Hour on Saturday evenings. We brought our own drinks and parked our butts in chairs out in the open air a good 6 feet apart. What used to be a once-a-year block party became a regular event and a big texting group of communication between events. Our text group shares things from who has one pick flosser so I don’t have to buy a whole bag of 100 to yesterday I had my 3rd round of chemo and here’s how it went.
The neighbor who started chemo this year reminds me that every year will have good and not good things. But it is not about the good or bad things but how we relate to them that makes all the difference.
He would prefer not to have an external bag semi-permanently attached to his body to keep his kidney functioning.
He would prefer not to feel intermittently depressed.
However, those are part of his year. Now he gets to decide how to relate to these things.
Having the best year ever in my marriage is a decision. It is not about any particular event that does or does not happen.
It is a decision to allow myself to fully embrace the year. All of it. To not wish it away or think it shouldn’t be like this.
It is me embracing all the emotional states that my firefighter spouse will travel through this year. It is taking great care of my own mental well-being so I can be responsible for my emotional states throughout the year.
It is continuing to decide it is the best year ever.
What do you want to decide for your marriage? Are you ready to learn to create the mental well-being tools to have the best year ever? You don’t have to wait for New Year’s. Now is the perfect time.
It takes no more effort than having a bad or ok year.
Show up with Curiosity & Love for
Yourself and Your Spouse
Do you want to feel better in your relationship?
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